What and where is Korea?

Ya know you're a teacher when you got a sling-shot in your desk confiscated from a student, but when ya got a sawed-off shotgun you know there's trouble. Looking at this piece! I feel like my situation is worse than when my sister was teaching in Brooklyn.
I use more karate here than I ever have, seriously. I'll demonstrate when I'm home
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By the way, that's my peanut bag at the top left of the drawer. They are a yummy stack between karate chopping 4th grade Korean kids.

The young employees of Kaist Educational Institute of Bullshit

The guy on the right is a genetic engineer major and speaks fluent English cause his parents are now American but he isn't.

The girl on the left of him kept say "bora-get-ah-say-yo" which means "I don't understand."

The girl on the right of me says some pretty unenlightened selfish statements and speaks pretty good English. Maybe if she acted like she doesn't speak English then my comment about her would be "She seems nice."

And the guy on the far left used to smell funny but then he discovered Alum.


NOW don't be mistaken. The center of attention is that little green bottle.


Here is a typical night for these Korean people. Drink and eat spicy fish soup until 7am and yet never get fat.


Hey also notice that red cross in the background. Gotta love the neon christian neoism

The bathrooms at restaurants and other private businesses in Korea are so gross. Grosser than the hole the refugee is using in Sierra Leone.

But the publicly owned bathrooms! My god! In the subways or at highway rest stops, they are just fucking amazing. OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD. By far the nicest bathrooms I've ever used except those bathrooms in the Alexis hotel in Seattle or the W hotel in NYC.

I mean these truck stop bathrooms in Korea have fountains and bonsai trees, and are shinning like diamonds.

Why did I take a picture of this shithole and not the nice bathrooms? I'm sorry.

and when ya party with Koreans you will definitely be seeing the sunrise.

The female co-worker I was with said "I don't care about this sunrise! I just care about money!"
Uhhh.. you're dumb

I hate you power-line. Ruining my shot.

You know how long it takes to photoshop that out?
Probably 3 hours of my life wasted on a mop and a few pieces of brick not perfectly stacked.

I think this picture parallels my mood right now.

Feeling a bit stale but looking forward to that not-too-far-off sunshine although the means to the end are a bit cloudy.

So that video below: That's me harassing some drunk crazy korean guy on the bus. I was all ignoring him but then I decided to do nothing but entertain myself and everyone around me by talking to him.

When the video was finished I ignored him again. He was confused and tried to talk to me. I just made faces at him and didn't speak. He tried to poke me in the ear but kept missing.

What a loser. Couldn't even poke me in the ear.


You know I've taken lots of little videos: time lapses of the streets of Osaka, Japan. Boat rides in Southern Thailand, Bike rides in Korea, etc and yet this is the ONLY one I put on the internet to show my friends, family, the Pentagon, and everyone else looking at my blog and youtube.

What does this say about me? Hopefully something good!

SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET SAVE THE INTERNET

I'm now worth 5 digits, and I worry and fret about money as much, if not more, as I did when I was worth 1 digit.

I'm now worth five digits, and I worry and fret about money as much, if not more, as I did when I was worth one digit.

I'm now worth five digits, and I worry and fret about money as much, if not more, as I did when I was worth one digit.

I'm now worth five digits, and I worry and fret about money as much, if not more, as I did when I was worth one digit.

Plus when I was worth $8 bucks I'd think "Oh man I'd love to have an extra $100 right now.
Then when I had $300 bucks I'd think "I wish I had a $1000"
Then once I had a $1000 I'd think "Oh I wish I had $5000. That'd be awesome."

WHAT THE FUCK. I GOT THAT DISEASE I HEARD ABOUT WHEN I WAS LITTLE AND I THOUGHT THOSE PEOPLE WERE CRAZY. I'M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. If you are like me stop it before you are at a later stage in life and you find yourself greedy, friendless, and with high-blood pressure.

I have not altered these photos. These are my students after I bought them ice cream.

Also these are two different people. They just look them same cause they live in a homogeneous society.

LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME. THIS IS MY BLOG. I'M REALLY IMPORTANT. LOOKAT ME. I'M REALLY COOL BECAUSE I PUT PICTURES ON THE INTERNET. MY CAMERA HAS AN AWESOME SELF-PORTRAIT SETTING. SO HERE IS ME. I'M HOT. I'M SMART. I'M EVERYTHING. READ WHAT I SAY. READ IT. READ IT READ IT! YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!!!!

Here is me being bad by stealing coffee.

See those weird symbols in the background. I can easily read those. I'm so smart.
Look at my forearms. They are so big. I'm really strong.

Here is me with a random Asian woman.

Because I am the best ever I thought she would want to get her picture taken with me.
During the photo I was totally wondering if she wanted to have sex with me.

Here is me eating tofu and kimchi. I am just so super awesome the way I eat food and that fact I can use chopsticks. I am SO international

Here is another really cool picture of me on this rock next to these trees doing that really cool move a black person once showed me.

Here is a toilet that I, ALEX, used. It was so cool and awesome. The toilet seat heated and sprayed water all over my asshole so I didn't have to use toilet paper.

In high school i figured out how to take a "number 2" as some people call it, HA, without using a squirt-gun or paper. It is all about relaxing those muscles!

But now I have stresses in my life so I can't do it anymore!!

anyway I wish I had a picture of ME and the toilet seat but I just don't because it was too small of a room even with my awesome super cool camera.

Here is me next to some plants and rocks.

Wow. It is amazing how I can just be anywhere and make it awesome! I am just awesome. totally!

As most of my students hated having their picture taken this particular student loved being in the spotlight.

I would be taking a picture of something else and he jumps in!

Man, Asians and their eyes. Some of my students make me wonder if they can see at all when they are smiling or laughing. I will test this out by throwing things at them when they are laughing.

Speaking of tricking them, today a student was pretending to be asleep so I opened his pencil case and took a nice pencil out and put it in my pocket. Then when he stopped being "asleep" I said "LOOK THERE!!!" and pointed off in the distance. When the student looked away I put the pencil down on his neighbors desk. Then when he looked back I said "Yaaah (yah is hey in Korean) he stole your pencil!!"
The neighbor said "nono!! Alex teacher did!" I said "No!! I am teacher and I don't lie. You are a bad student." And then student who owned the pencil didn't know what to do! WHOAHAHAHAHA

Personally, I love beating my students. Pressure points cause the most pain and leave no mark.

"All your friends who were going to come visit you, Alex, but didn't really have missed out." - Brynne of the BI crew.

She said this multiple times during her weekend (June 10th to June 11th) visit.

dude buddha
sorry man but i'm so torn.

Do i love jah jah or do I love you?

the jah jah people got some bomb music but you always chillin in these dope temples..

on-yo-he-ca-say-yo Songnisan Boochow, jay-bar jay-me-so-yo-ha-me-da. Hanguk san GIN-CHA choo-why-yo grande eep-poo-da yo.

good bye Songni Mountain Buddha. please have fun for me. I REALLY like Korean mountain because they are beautiful.

24 working days to go. and 4-5 weekends left.

Kim Lee and I travel the rice paddies eyeing the crag. We approach Cheong Seok Gul with an anticipation of how our bodies will adapt and move on the crag like water flowing around stones.

But before we climb we must prepare ourselves mentally by familiarizing ourselves with the eco-culture surrounding us. Once we understand we can conquer the rock.

smelled the growing rice

Surveyed the landscape

We felt the cool air in the cave

After standing Seon meditation I flowed up the rock like schziophrenic monkey.

At top my neophyte sport climbing technique get the best of me. I fell 25 feet but my motion was like leaf landing on water.

But Kim Lee was chillin. He only on-sited this 5.11a in flip-flops totally dissing Vice Magazine. (http://www.viceland.com - Vice Magazine hates flip flops). Ya you show em up! Those middle-age pervert wanna be hipsters! (Vice staff i'm sayin)

and thanks Kim Dae Eel for the belay and the ride home in your sweet ride!

I don't care that Korea is #1 in cell phones or that they sell a lot of cars or that they cloned a dog. WHATEVER. A cellphone still makes calls, cars still run on fossil fuel and a dog is still a meal for 20,000won at some Korean restaurants.

but this. NOW THIS. is an invention. They install couches up on the 15th story of an apartment building through the window using these things!

Here they are removing building materials from a remodeled gov. building.

Roses are everywhere in Korea! Roses do so well here. On the contrary, on Bainbridge Island I spent a lot of time nursing roses in gardens and I always ended up with sick roses.

One special feature of the Korean rose is that it does not smell.
The story on the street is that the Korean Government genetically engineered the roses so that the people do not have a reason to stop. This way productivity will continue to be full blast ahead! NO STOPPING!

Arrive at campsite after dark. Koreans begin frantically cooking a meal equivalent to the idealistic dreamful meal I always wanted to have at thanksgiving... minus the large quantity of pig meat which is, off topic, the reason why I could really never date 99% of native Korean women - they eat too much pig.

anyway that's how these people cook- every meal is a huge mother fucking event. It is incredible how they do this. You go to a campsite in USA and you will find me eating chilli out of a can and I'll even have to ask the campsite next to me for a can opener (remember that Nick?). You go to Korean campsite you find a ton of people handing me everything food item they got (which will be a lot and a variety) and if my cup of alcohol is almost finished they immediately jump on that to refill it. ANY TIME ANY WHERE!

hey. so the following pics are my Saturday night and Sunday this weekend. I went to an area near Songni Mountain along this valley.

ahhh 5am and time to go for a walk up the mountain.

ahhh another weekend of sleeping on a table. Man my back hurts! But at least this time I had $14 sleeping bag. W00T

After going up 870 meters, climbing around cliffs, and getting threatened by ravens I reach the top.

The view is simply bombastic simply fantastic

I dig the abstract lookin trees.

Once down from the mountain I was served ramen noodle from the extremely hung over aid climbers.
Here is what you do if you are Korean and the next day you will be climbing mountains. You buy a liter of soju (25% alcohol) and you drink it all between four people and then get up early in the morning and feel like shit and then climb rock.

Speaking of drunk guys. Later in the day one of members of the climbing gym, who got really drunk, said "Ramen noodle is the brain and heart of Korea"

By the way, I love to look really scruffy and dirty. I did before I came to korea but now I REALLY LIKE IT. I think the more money I have makes me just want to look more and more homeless. My shirt is stretched, my pants are dirty and ripped and my face.. well.. just look at me.

When my students see me outside of school they give me this look like "Alex.. are you ok? Do you need hospital?"

Then I lazily spent the rest of the day climbing all these routes these guys are on. Man I never knew how much fun rope climbing can by... except when I went up the rock sport climb style and didn't have any quick draws and had to down-climb.

In between climbing all these groups of Koreans fed me green tea soy milk, soup, water melon and of course alcohol!!

If you ever go hiking in Korea and wonder what are in all those huge 500 dollar north face hiking bags I can ensure you it is Korean food dishes and alcohol.

I wish this could be my best friend. I am just not cool enough. Sometimes we have conversations of gibberish on both sides and sometimes she lets me give her rides around the climbing gym as if I'm a big bear. But most the time she is so cool for school that she doesn't even notice me. She doesn't want to be rude but she is just in her own world of party dancing. This girl GETS DOWN like I have never seen before. She, no joke, is a better dancer than everyone I know. She will spend the entire 2.5 hours I am at the climbing gym dancing her heart away to 50 cent and britney spears. Ya she knows the artists suck but she doesnt' care. She just gotta shake her hips and move those arms.